Deck the halls!

This was the first year that the girls did not come over to bake cookies, the youngest and I didn't make our annual trip to South Street, and we did not do a last minute shopping together.  I was feeling kind of blue.  But last night we picked Dad up from the airport, the kids brought Chinese food, and they put both leaves in the big table.  Brother and sis-in-law showed up and we had ten people for dinner and tree trimming.  Sis-in-law had major spine surgery this year, and while it has been a slow but steady recovery, she is no longer in constant pain.  She seems "with us" again -- her face is bright and open for the first time in a while.  The kids (including daughter's new boyfriend) are so much fun and bring life and love to our table.  And Dad is quiet but his sense of humor has never left him and he listens and laughs along with us.  Later, on the sofa, he reflects "I have such beautiful children and grandchildren.  I am so lucky."  I know, sadly, that these moments won't last forever, but I am grateful that we have them now.  Maybe someday we'll even add more to the table! It's funny how important all this becomes when you grow older and experience life's fragile nature.  You think things will always be the way they are, or that you can control the way they will become.  Best to live life knowing it will change no matter what, try to influence its direction toward the best possible outcomes, prepare for the storms which are sure to come, and give up trying to be the mighty oak.  Bend like the willow when the wind blows.

I am taking a couple days off from work to be home with Dad, and will take the week after Christmas as well.  I wish there was snow - but the birds are happy to eat seeds and drink from the pond without it.  I've moved the leaf net so they can bathe and drink in the shallow end, and they found the opening right away.  The fish don't care.. they just wait for warmer days.  I accounted for all of them yesterday even the little brown one.  He is getting easier to spot every day..  a little more golden on his belly scales, and a little bigger.

Body Language

In November I had a CT scan and angiogram.  It seems that this defectively formed heart valve has caused a nice sized aortic aneurysm which at this point is nearly at a "time for surgery" stage.  Open heart surgery doesn't sound like fun.  And having artificial replacement parts in me seems terribly worrisome.  There are a number of questions to be answered.  Where will I have it done?  Who will do the surgery? Where will I go for the six hours that I'm plugged into a machine that keeps me alive while they tinker with my plumbing?  Surgery doesn't normally freak me out, but this really scares me.   I'm ready to take care of this and don't like to have to wait around for it to become bigger. There is some goodness to have come of all of this.  Just like when I had cancer, my doctor and her NP first discovered a problem through a routine physical.  And this is a condition that causes sudden death for those who don't know they have it, so I am grateful they went through the rigors of medical education so that they could save my life, not once but twice.  Also, the complete blood workup came back normal in all categories.  At least I don't have to worry about that.


Dave helped me shut down the pond this year, and I went out over the weekend and put in the aerator and the de-icer.  I also cut back the last of the plants so they wouldn't rot in the water.  The fish look resigned, and are now circled around the de-icer like spokes on a wheel.  Winter is coming quickly.


Dad comes east on Sunday, and the Christmas tree is up and waiting for Sunday dinner when we will decorate it.  Then there's the week of menu planning, cookie baking, and two large holiday meals.  :)  This is my favorite time of the year!