This was the first year that the girls did not come over to bake cookies, the youngest and I didn't make our annual trip to South Street, and we did not do a last minute shopping together. I was feeling kind of blue. But last night we picked Dad up from the airport, the kids brought Chinese food, and they put both leaves in the big table. Brother and sis-in-law showed up and we had ten people for dinner and tree trimming. Sis-in-law had major spine surgery this year, and while it has been a slow but steady recovery, she is no longer in constant pain. She seems "with us" again -- her face is bright and open for the first time in a while. The kids (including daughter's new boyfriend) are so much fun and bring life and love to our table. And Dad is quiet but his sense of humor has never left him and he listens and laughs along with us. Later, on the sofa, he reflects "I have such beautiful children and grandchildren. I am so lucky." I know, sadly, that these moments won't last forever, but I am grateful that we have them now. Maybe someday we'll even add more to the table! It's funny how important all this becomes when you grow older and experience life's fragile nature. You think things will always be the way they are, or that you can control the way they will become. Best to live life knowing it will change no matter what, try to influence its direction toward the best possible outcomes, prepare for the storms which are sure to come, and give up trying to be the mighty oak. Bend like the willow when the wind blows.
I am taking a couple days off from work to be home with Dad, and will take the week after Christmas as well. I wish there was snow - but the birds are happy to eat seeds and drink from the pond without it. I've moved the leaf net so they can bathe and drink in the shallow end, and they found the opening right away. The fish don't care.. they just wait for warmer days. I accounted for all of them yesterday even the little brown one. He is getting easier to spot every day.. a little more golden on his belly scales, and a little bigger.
Monday, December 19, 2011
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Body Language
In November I had a CT scan and angiogram. It seems that this defectively formed heart valve has caused a nice sized aortic aneurysm which at this point is nearly at a "time for surgery" stage. Open heart surgery doesn't sound like fun. And having artificial replacement parts in me seems terribly worrisome. There are a number of questions to be answered. Where will I have it done? Who will do the surgery? Where will I go for the six hours that I'm plugged into a machine that keeps me alive while they tinker with my plumbing? Surgery doesn't normally freak me out, but this really scares me. I'm ready to take care of this and don't like to have to wait around for it to become bigger. There is some goodness to have come of all of this. Just like when I had cancer, my doctor and her NP first discovered a problem through a routine physical. And this is a condition that causes sudden death for those who don't know they have it, so I am grateful they went through the rigors of medical education so that they could save my life, not once but twice. Also, the complete blood workup came back normal in all categories. At least I don't have to worry about that.
Dave helped me shut down the pond this year, and I went out over the weekend and put in the aerator and the de-icer. I also cut back the last of the plants so they wouldn't rot in the water. The fish look resigned, and are now circled around the de-icer like spokes on a wheel. Winter is coming quickly.
Dad comes east on Sunday, and the Christmas tree is up and waiting for Sunday dinner when we will decorate it. Then there's the week of menu planning, cookie baking, and two large holiday meals. :) This is my favorite time of the year!
Dave helped me shut down the pond this year, and I went out over the weekend and put in the aerator and the de-icer. I also cut back the last of the plants so they wouldn't rot in the water. The fish look resigned, and are now circled around the de-icer like spokes on a wheel. Winter is coming quickly.
Dad comes east on Sunday, and the Christmas tree is up and waiting for Sunday dinner when we will decorate it. Then there's the week of menu planning, cookie baking, and two large holiday meals. :) This is my favorite time of the year!
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Black Friday
Wine favorite of the week - Montoya Pinot Noir Monterey, 2009 vintage. This wine had a light ruby color, with a gentle nose, and a taste of currant and plum. This was a perfect pairing with our Thanksgiving turkey. Likewise, the Anthony Road 2010 Gerwurtztraminer was a good choice for the white wine drinkers, with long finish and honey/clover undertones.
Have you noticed the new statue on Lancaster, near the cop statue? It's a very peculiar looking lady on a bench knitting. First of all, who knits on a bench in front of a long line of backed up traffic? Secondly, like the cop, this lady is just human looking enough to scare you as you pass, but otherwise looks like a pod person. Anne squealed when she saw it, "They need to stop that!" First the enormous painted dogs, now this. I wonder if they pull themselves away at night. I'll have to make sure to drive by when it snows so I can see if they are covered, or if they are mysteriously clean.
I've been putting off the inevitable shutting down of the pond. The falls sparkle in the sunlight in late morning, and the plants have not died yet. I need to do it tomorrow, though, because it is going to be very cold at night soon, and I don't want the falls to freeze and divert water into the yard (thus emptying the pond).
Have you noticed the new statue on Lancaster, near the cop statue? It's a very peculiar looking lady on a bench knitting. First of all, who knits on a bench in front of a long line of backed up traffic? Secondly, like the cop, this lady is just human looking enough to scare you as you pass, but otherwise looks like a pod person. Anne squealed when she saw it, "They need to stop that!" First the enormous painted dogs, now this. I wonder if they pull themselves away at night. I'll have to make sure to drive by when it snows so I can see if they are covered, or if they are mysteriously clean.
I've been putting off the inevitable shutting down of the pond. The falls sparkle in the sunlight in late morning, and the plants have not died yet. I need to do it tomorrow, though, because it is going to be very cold at night soon, and I don't want the falls to freeze and divert water into the yard (thus emptying the pond).
Friday, September 23, 2011
Heart to Heart
Another rainy day.. they seem to be in the majority lately. I made it out very early, before by physical therapy, and counted the fish. I've only seen one frog for the last couple of days, but I know there are two. The little brown fish is making it to the top to eat a lot more frequently. If you look closely you can see him swimming like the dickens to keep up.
Had my annual physical this morning, and got a flu shot. Results are in from the echo. I have a bicuspid aortic valve. A birth defect that causes no trouble until later in life. It is inherited. So it will be yearly monitoring and probably valve replacement down the road, just like a car. I can't remember when it was that I went from being a brand new Beemer to a used Datsun. Doesn't matter - just gotta deal with it and move on.
It is Friday, my day off, and I have already received a message from my boss that there are two reports due next week - one due on Monday. I just want to go out for a long, long walk and not worry about anything. I just want to... you know.. take a long walk. Or maybe sit by the pond and watch the fish swimming around.
Had my annual physical this morning, and got a flu shot. Results are in from the echo. I have a bicuspid aortic valve. A birth defect that causes no trouble until later in life. It is inherited. So it will be yearly monitoring and probably valve replacement down the road, just like a car. I can't remember when it was that I went from being a brand new Beemer to a used Datsun. Doesn't matter - just gotta deal with it and move on.
It is Friday, my day off, and I have already received a message from my boss that there are two reports due next week - one due on Monday. I just want to go out for a long, long walk and not worry about anything. I just want to... you know.. take a long walk. Or maybe sit by the pond and watch the fish swimming around.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Back to work
Ugh. I went back to work last Monday. I am very uninspired.. ready to not be working, though I'd rather be healthy and not working than on disability. I can bend my right knee so that my heel nearly touches by back thigh. The left knee is getting there, but is still very stiff and aches a lot. I walked for an hour yesterday in two half hour stretches, and by the time I was done the muscles were very weak, but I wasn't in a great deal of pain. We signed up for our Vail ski trip, so I guess that means I'll be skiing this winter! YAY!
We bought a white lily for the pond, so now there are pink lilies and white lilies blooming. There are also TWO little green frogs! I have no idea where they came from, but I really, really, really hope they stay. The redstarts are darting in and out of the bushes, trying to work up the nerve to dip into the waterfall, and I have seen raccoon prints along the rocks early in the morning some days, as though I've disturbed their morning foraging. They can't get the fish, but they might be eating the snails. Three days ago a doe and two fawn, mature beyond their spots, crossed the yard near to the apple tree. We do not prune or bother with the apples, so they get wormy and drop. The deer are the beneficiaries of our purposeful neglect. We also don't net our blueberry bushes, and the berries disappear as soon as they are ripe. And we have seen the fox, just at dusk and in the pre-dawn hours, skirting the edge of the yard, hoping for something tasty like a mouse or mole who might be searching for stray seeds under the bird feeders. Once we watched him grab a squirrel before the sun had set, but we rarely see him in daylight these days. We only have a half acre of land in a suburban neighborhood with a patch of woods nearby, but we've planted our yard for the wildlife, and the pond is a magnet for critters passing through.
We bought a white lily for the pond, so now there are pink lilies and white lilies blooming. There are also TWO little green frogs! I have no idea where they came from, but I really, really, really hope they stay. The redstarts are darting in and out of the bushes, trying to work up the nerve to dip into the waterfall, and I have seen raccoon prints along the rocks early in the morning some days, as though I've disturbed their morning foraging. They can't get the fish, but they might be eating the snails. Three days ago a doe and two fawn, mature beyond their spots, crossed the yard near to the apple tree. We do not prune or bother with the apples, so they get wormy and drop. The deer are the beneficiaries of our purposeful neglect. We also don't net our blueberry bushes, and the berries disappear as soon as they are ripe. And we have seen the fox, just at dusk and in the pre-dawn hours, skirting the edge of the yard, hoping for something tasty like a mouse or mole who might be searching for stray seeds under the bird feeders. Once we watched him grab a squirrel before the sun had set, but we rarely see him in daylight these days. We only have a half acre of land in a suburban neighborhood with a patch of woods nearby, but we've planted our yard for the wildlife, and the pond is a magnet for critters passing through.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Frog and Fish
Yesterday I was skimming leaves out of the pond and a little brown fish darted by the skimmer net. It was only a few inches long, and I'm certain it is not among my original 11 fish. It must be the little bitty 1/4 inch fish I saw nibbling along the edges of the plant wall last summer. To make it even better, a small green frog had planted himself on a rock nearby! YAY! I have really missed my frogs, which left when the toads showed up earlier this summer.
Tomorrow I go to the orthopod for my one month follow-up. I'm doing really well since I started PT, and I am thinking they'll let me go back to work on Monday.
Tomorrow I go to the orthopod for my one month follow-up. I'm doing really well since I started PT, and I am thinking they'll let me go back to work on Monday.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Physical Therapy and Wine
I started physical therapy on Monday. The range of motion in my right leg is good. The left leg is very poor.. still can't bend it to get up and down the stairs. There is no way I could do ladders and carry boxes. I have less than two weeks until I need to go back to work. Hope I'm ready.
Wine Project: Since my last post we have been on a three day wine tour in the Finger Lakes. I wouldn't recommend it for someone who is only two weeks out of arthroscopic surgery. The bus ride was okay because I could stand up every once in a while and stretch my legs, and I had a whole two seats to stretch out my legs. Standing at the wine tasting bars was agony, and chairs or benches are VERY few and far between. I found tightly wrapping in the compression bandage the ortho gave me was the best bet for the standing part.
We tasted wines in 10 wineries. There are lots of Reislings, and while we were told we would find mainly sweet wines (I'm a dry wine person), there were plenty of dry wines to sample. Actually, I enjoyed some of the semi-sweets as well. Clearly my taste in wines is not what they were serving up 80% of the time, but there were some wines that I really liked, and we came home with a case and a half of mixed bottles: dry Reislings, a late harvest Reisling to mix with chardonnay; Gewurztraminers; some Lembergers; a Chardonnay; something called Veltliner; Viogiers; and two Vignoles (for Hubby). When we got home I put all the bottles out on the dining room table and took pictures of their labels so I could put them into my wine database and remember what they were after I drank them. It's going well.. I think I'm learning something about selecting and enjoying wines.
Hubby went deep sea fishing about a month ago and came home with 15 pounds of yellow fin tuna, and five pounds of mahi mahi. I cut it up and froze it right away. We pulled out a couple of tuna steaks last week and grilled them -- wonderful! Two nights ago I pulled out the mahi mahi and poached it with dill and lemons, and served it with rice, a green salad, and a glass of sauvignon blanc. It was a perfect! We finished the sauvignon blanc last night with marinated chicken and vegie kabobs, an apple, pepper, avocado salsa, and herbed couscous. Another good match.
Wine Project: Since my last post we have been on a three day wine tour in the Finger Lakes. I wouldn't recommend it for someone who is only two weeks out of arthroscopic surgery. The bus ride was okay because I could stand up every once in a while and stretch my legs, and I had a whole two seats to stretch out my legs. Standing at the wine tasting bars was agony, and chairs or benches are VERY few and far between. I found tightly wrapping in the compression bandage the ortho gave me was the best bet for the standing part.
We tasted wines in 10 wineries. There are lots of Reislings, and while we were told we would find mainly sweet wines (I'm a dry wine person), there were plenty of dry wines to sample. Actually, I enjoyed some of the semi-sweets as well. Clearly my taste in wines is not what they were serving up 80% of the time, but there were some wines that I really liked, and we came home with a case and a half of mixed bottles: dry Reislings, a late harvest Reisling to mix with chardonnay; Gewurztraminers; some Lembergers; a Chardonnay; something called Veltliner; Viogiers; and two Vignoles (for Hubby). When we got home I put all the bottles out on the dining room table and took pictures of their labels so I could put them into my wine database and remember what they were after I drank them. It's going well.. I think I'm learning something about selecting and enjoying wines.
Hubby went deep sea fishing about a month ago and came home with 15 pounds of yellow fin tuna, and five pounds of mahi mahi. I cut it up and froze it right away. We pulled out a couple of tuna steaks last week and grilled them -- wonderful! Two nights ago I pulled out the mahi mahi and poached it with dill and lemons, and served it with rice, a green salad, and a glass of sauvignon blanc. It was a perfect! We finished the sauvignon blanc last night with marinated chicken and vegie kabobs, an apple, pepper, avocado salsa, and herbed couscous. Another good match.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Earthquake!
I found the poor little comet with the deformed mouth belly up in the skimmer. It must have just starved to death.. This is the first fish I've lost since the pond went in 3 summers ago.
Yesterday Dad and I watched Jurassic Park. We had the surround sound on. Shortly after it ended the mirror above me started to shake and shimmy. Thinking it was part of the construction of a parking garage they're building nearby, I was not terribly alarmed.. until the mirror REALLY started to bang against the wall and the glass floor-to-ceiling book cases started to shimmy. I heard cracking noises from the depths of the house. I briefly had sci-fi thoughts about dinosaurs. It was that 5.8 earthquake, of course. The shaking and rolling lasted about 45 seconds, they said, but somehow in that short amount of time I managed to jump up from where I was sitting, thinking to move Dad out into the yard, and pulled a muscle in my right knee... Q(#(*&$!!##
Today I have my surgery follow-up visit. Tomorrow it will be two full weeks since surgery. I thought I would be back at work by now, but I can barely make it up the stairs to bed. I'm sure the doc is going to wonder why the heck both legs are bruised.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Cardinal Flower
As of yesterday afternoon, I have two jagged but continuous lines of angry bruises running from my knee to the top of my thigh. My upper left leg is so incredibly sore, and I can't bend at the knee without pain running up my leg. So I won't move much today.. take it easy.
Since yesterday's small disaster at the pond, the water lilies have bounced right back to the surface of the water. There will be two blooms today and one later in the week. I cut off all the broken pieces of the lotus plant, and while the large flat leaves and small buds that represent a summer's worth of growth are gone, there is enough left that it at least looks like a respectable young plant. The water iris no longer stands erect at the corner of the falls, but droops downward with the tips of its spikes touching the water surface.The orchid that I've been babying since April when my daughter gave it to me for my birthday, has lost the long slender stem where the buds grow. It has bloomed continually all summer, but now there is no bloom stem left. It will live, but will probably not have another bloom stem until next year. The pickerel has been smashed down to nothing. Hopefully I'll get a little new growth before autumn sets in. The good news is that we now have sun. The removal of the pussy willow has opened up the pond area so that we get more than four hours of morning sun, and even an hour or so of late afternoon sun. I could grow tomatoes if I wanted! Or.. I could move my herb garden which gets a little bit of sun, but which sways and creeps out toward my walkway in search of more.
I tend to edit whatever gardens I have, constantly eyeing things, moving things, deleting a very few things and adding much more. Down at the end of the back yard are the native plant beds we put in two autumns ago. There are blueberry bushes, spice bushes, viburnum, jacob's ladder, osier dogwood, and lots of other things that are wildlife friendly. This is their second summer, and the first summer that the cardinal flower has bloomed. I can't see it very well unless I am all the way at the end of the yard, but I catch flashes of brilliant red as I walk past the rhodies or when I stand on our porch. So yesterday I moved one of the the plants up to the pond area where I can see them, and where I now need more plants. As soon as I plant the cardinal flower, a hummer helicopters in to take a closer look at it. A few minutes later a wet sparrow, (flying out of its bathing spot at the top of the falls), lands on one of the stems and bends it nearly to the ground. ACK! I have a tall bumblebee on a rod made out of bend metal that stands about two feet above the ground, so I move it next to the flowers and entwine them in the bee wings in the hopes that wet birds will perch on it instead of my flowers. It works.
So I think as soon as this nasty bruise clears up on my leg I will no longer write about my knee woes. Other than range of motion, I think the knee thing is over.. and yes, I can walk with full weight and without feeling that familiar pinch and ache in my knees. PT should take care of the range of motion.
One of my comets has a deformed mouth -- too small even for the small pellet of food. It cannot eat the fish food until it has softened and is easily broken into crumbs, and it takes a while to soften and so is gobbled up by the other fish. This fish is about 1/2 or even 1/3 the size of the others. I think it has been living on algae. Last evening when I fed the fish it did not surface. When I finally caught sight of it, it was just moving slowly around the bottom of the pond. I'm not sure about its survival prospects.
Since yesterday's small disaster at the pond, the water lilies have bounced right back to the surface of the water. There will be two blooms today and one later in the week. I cut off all the broken pieces of the lotus plant, and while the large flat leaves and small buds that represent a summer's worth of growth are gone, there is enough left that it at least looks like a respectable young plant. The water iris no longer stands erect at the corner of the falls, but droops downward with the tips of its spikes touching the water surface.The orchid that I've been babying since April when my daughter gave it to me for my birthday, has lost the long slender stem where the buds grow. It has bloomed continually all summer, but now there is no bloom stem left. It will live, but will probably not have another bloom stem until next year. The pickerel has been smashed down to nothing. Hopefully I'll get a little new growth before autumn sets in. The good news is that we now have sun. The removal of the pussy willow has opened up the pond area so that we get more than four hours of morning sun, and even an hour or so of late afternoon sun. I could grow tomatoes if I wanted! Or.. I could move my herb garden which gets a little bit of sun, but which sways and creeps out toward my walkway in search of more.
I tend to edit whatever gardens I have, constantly eyeing things, moving things, deleting a very few things and adding much more. Down at the end of the back yard are the native plant beds we put in two autumns ago. There are blueberry bushes, spice bushes, viburnum, jacob's ladder, osier dogwood, and lots of other things that are wildlife friendly. This is their second summer, and the first summer that the cardinal flower has bloomed. I can't see it very well unless I am all the way at the end of the yard, but I catch flashes of brilliant red as I walk past the rhodies or when I stand on our porch. So yesterday I moved one of the the plants up to the pond area where I can see them, and where I now need more plants. As soon as I plant the cardinal flower, a hummer helicopters in to take a closer look at it. A few minutes later a wet sparrow, (flying out of its bathing spot at the top of the falls), lands on one of the stems and bends it nearly to the ground. ACK! I have a tall bumblebee on a rod made out of bend metal that stands about two feet above the ground, so I move it next to the flowers and entwine them in the bee wings in the hopes that wet birds will perch on it instead of my flowers. It works.
So I think as soon as this nasty bruise clears up on my leg I will no longer write about my knee woes. Other than range of motion, I think the knee thing is over.. and yes, I can walk with full weight and without feeling that familiar pinch and ache in my knees. PT should take care of the range of motion.
One of my comets has a deformed mouth -- too small even for the small pellet of food. It cannot eat the fish food until it has softened and is easily broken into crumbs, and it takes a while to soften and so is gobbled up by the other fish. This fish is about 1/2 or even 1/3 the size of the others. I think it has been living on algae. Last evening when I fed the fish it did not surface. When I finally caught sight of it, it was just moving slowly around the bottom of the pond. I'm not sure about its survival prospects.
Friday, August 19, 2011
August 19 - Do Unto Others
I did a stupid thing. Remember that challenging bird feeder? The one that I thought I wouldn't attempt to fill for a while? Well I decided that my coordination was good enough this morning that I would try to fill it. Coming back up the slope, I tripped and my left knee caught. I felt an immediate twinge. I've been icing and elevating. I need to pick up Dad at the airport this afternoon, and I need to meet him at the gate. I felt confident that I could make it through security and onto the electric cart, but now I'm a bit worried.
Meanwhile, Hubby is in town, and I am waiting for the tree surgeons. I don't trust self-employed workers. It doesn't matter if they're installing air conditioning, or sweeping the chimney. They say they'll be there within a certain time frame on a particular day, and they almost never are. This explains, in part, why they work for themselves. No one else will employ a person who is unreliable. My kitchen took six months. And the guy never did complete it.. we hired a carpenter to come in and finish the job. He almost finished it. Our handyman finally got the job done two years later. We were to have our new air conditioner installed three weeks ago. Three dates have passed, and still no show. For now it's okay because the days are in the mid 80s, but two weeks ago (and one week AFTER the first work date promised) it was near to or over 100 degrees every day. I keep trying to get Hubby to find someone else, but he says they are giving him the best price. (arrrggg!) If you've met him you'll know that convenience and a reasonable work ethic have nothing to do with the decision to hire. It's all about price. So we wait.
But then there is the man who put in our pond. We hired him after interviewing five people, and he came in near to the lowest bid, but he is also a member of the Mennonite community about an hour from here. I trusted him at his word and the pond is mine. He said he would be arriving on a Monday morning at 7:00 am, would work until 5:00 pm, and would be finished by Friday evening. Whenever I happened to be at home while he was working, I would catch him standing back like an artist, eyeing the placement of rocks and and plant shelves, then editing his work before he cleaned up for the day. Never a twig or rock or pile of dirt on the lawn when he left for the day. On Friday evening, after living up to his promised schedule, I arrived home from work to find him, his wife, and his two children in their bare feet, raking the mulch around the pond gardens. Their baby was asleep on my living room couch, with a pillow barracade around him. It took be by surprise, but I quickly realized that the world is so complicated and large that we have forgotten our sense of community and we scrutinize the things we should take for granted. His wife and I sat on the porch while the boys finished up. We chatted about our kids, our families, and her two sisters who were about to leave the country on a church mission. Before they left my pond guy motioned me over to his truck where he had me pick out my pond plants, and then handed me a bag with a dozen tiny, brightly colored fish. In return we then handed him his payment and enough home made chocolate cake to feed his brood for a week. Later we received a thank you note from him and his wife. One weekend about a month later we drove out to his home to pick up a bush he had promised to find for us. His wife fed us fried fruit pies that she was making for the farmer's market. He built my bench from an oak tree he had removed from his own property, and we drove past his father's farm, the source of our pond rocks. A few weeks later still, he arrived at our home with a camera and asked if he could take pictures of the pond. It's oddly comforting to know the origin of some of the best elements of my pond, and it's wonderful to know that it was built with care, and the intention of completing a job well done.
Today we are waiting for the tree surgeons who are going to take down some limbs that hang over the pond, and take out a tree that blocks the sun. The tree is not really a tree, but is a pussy willow bush that was never trimmed by the original owners of our house. It has grown up above the porch roof. Each spring the pussy willows arrive way up above the roof where we do not see them and cannot cut them. They drop litter all over the yard in the form of sodden, rotting pussy willow buds, and then about half of the leaves begin to curl and wither and fall. We won't have them drill the stump, and that way perhaps shoots will start a small bush that we can manage better. There is also a huge, and I mean enormous tree trunk near our drive. The diameter is about 5 feet, and it stands 15 feet tall. This trunk is what is left of an ash tree we took out 10 years ago. The tree was dying, rotting and had huge knot holes in it. We were worried it would fall on the house. I had noticed that the woodpeckers loved it, and I wasn't sure what might be living inside of it, so we had the tree guys cut it just below the electric wires, and let it go on its own. It has housed nuthatches, squirrels, and possibly raccoons for the last ten years, but now it has served its purpose and is crumbling. Huge chunks of bark are shedding from the tree, and the holes are no longer holes, but gaping rotten spots in the wood. So we are having it removed as well. The tree surgeons were supposed to have been here about two hours ago. It seems a small thing, but it's supposed to thunderstorm this afternoon (yes.. and remember I'm supposed to pick up Dad at the airport).
Later.. We pick up my Dad at the airport, or I do. I have to get a security pass to get to the gate to meet him. That is not a problem, but what is a problem is that apparently unless I am a flying customer I cannot access the wheelchairs or electric cart for myself. I have to walk 28 gates on crutches to get to Dad. I also have to stand in the security line on crutches. And I can't walk through the metal detector thingie with my crutch and they will not wheel me through. I am in agony trying to stand on my bad leg/knee, and I set off the detector thingie by falling against it. I'm so embarassed I start to cry and then I get yelled at by the TSA. I HATE PHILADELPHIANS. Well, generally I like lots of them, but I really despise the rude and uncaring attitude of a lot of the "service" people here. We are always so amazed when we travel to other cities and find nearly everyone to be sweet and caring, helpful and pleasant. No attitude.
By the time I get home my leg is swollen and painful, and the tree guys who showed up just before we left for the airport have completed their work. We return to find that they have let part of the pussy willow fall into the pond. Every single plant was crushed, along with my orchid which had been blooming since April. It will be weeks before the pond has grown back in - and it will not have time this year to return to the its former beauty of just three hours ago. I am so sad. Not a good day.. but at least Dad is here safe and sound.
Meanwhile, Hubby is in town, and I am waiting for the tree surgeons. I don't trust self-employed workers. It doesn't matter if they're installing air conditioning, or sweeping the chimney. They say they'll be there within a certain time frame on a particular day, and they almost never are. This explains, in part, why they work for themselves. No one else will employ a person who is unreliable. My kitchen took six months. And the guy never did complete it.. we hired a carpenter to come in and finish the job. He almost finished it. Our handyman finally got the job done two years later. We were to have our new air conditioner installed three weeks ago. Three dates have passed, and still no show. For now it's okay because the days are in the mid 80s, but two weeks ago (and one week AFTER the first work date promised) it was near to or over 100 degrees every day. I keep trying to get Hubby to find someone else, but he says they are giving him the best price. (arrrggg!) If you've met him you'll know that convenience and a reasonable work ethic have nothing to do with the decision to hire. It's all about price. So we wait.
But then there is the man who put in our pond. We hired him after interviewing five people, and he came in near to the lowest bid, but he is also a member of the Mennonite community about an hour from here. I trusted him at his word and the pond is mine. He said he would be arriving on a Monday morning at 7:00 am, would work until 5:00 pm, and would be finished by Friday evening. Whenever I happened to be at home while he was working, I would catch him standing back like an artist, eyeing the placement of rocks and and plant shelves, then editing his work before he cleaned up for the day. Never a twig or rock or pile of dirt on the lawn when he left for the day. On Friday evening, after living up to his promised schedule, I arrived home from work to find him, his wife, and his two children in their bare feet, raking the mulch around the pond gardens. Their baby was asleep on my living room couch, with a pillow barracade around him. It took be by surprise, but I quickly realized that the world is so complicated and large that we have forgotten our sense of community and we scrutinize the things we should take for granted. His wife and I sat on the porch while the boys finished up. We chatted about our kids, our families, and her two sisters who were about to leave the country on a church mission. Before they left my pond guy motioned me over to his truck where he had me pick out my pond plants, and then handed me a bag with a dozen tiny, brightly colored fish. In return we then handed him his payment and enough home made chocolate cake to feed his brood for a week. Later we received a thank you note from him and his wife. One weekend about a month later we drove out to his home to pick up a bush he had promised to find for us. His wife fed us fried fruit pies that she was making for the farmer's market. He built my bench from an oak tree he had removed from his own property, and we drove past his father's farm, the source of our pond rocks. A few weeks later still, he arrived at our home with a camera and asked if he could take pictures of the pond. It's oddly comforting to know the origin of some of the best elements of my pond, and it's wonderful to know that it was built with care, and the intention of completing a job well done.
Today we are waiting for the tree surgeons who are going to take down some limbs that hang over the pond, and take out a tree that blocks the sun. The tree is not really a tree, but is a pussy willow bush that was never trimmed by the original owners of our house. It has grown up above the porch roof. Each spring the pussy willows arrive way up above the roof where we do not see them and cannot cut them. They drop litter all over the yard in the form of sodden, rotting pussy willow buds, and then about half of the leaves begin to curl and wither and fall. We won't have them drill the stump, and that way perhaps shoots will start a small bush that we can manage better. There is also a huge, and I mean enormous tree trunk near our drive. The diameter is about 5 feet, and it stands 15 feet tall. This trunk is what is left of an ash tree we took out 10 years ago. The tree was dying, rotting and had huge knot holes in it. We were worried it would fall on the house. I had noticed that the woodpeckers loved it, and I wasn't sure what might be living inside of it, so we had the tree guys cut it just below the electric wires, and let it go on its own. It has housed nuthatches, squirrels, and possibly raccoons for the last ten years, but now it has served its purpose and is crumbling. Huge chunks of bark are shedding from the tree, and the holes are no longer holes, but gaping rotten spots in the wood. So we are having it removed as well. The tree surgeons were supposed to have been here about two hours ago. It seems a small thing, but it's supposed to thunderstorm this afternoon (yes.. and remember I'm supposed to pick up Dad at the airport).
Later.. We pick up my Dad at the airport, or I do. I have to get a security pass to get to the gate to meet him. That is not a problem, but what is a problem is that apparently unless I am a flying customer I cannot access the wheelchairs or electric cart for myself. I have to walk 28 gates on crutches to get to Dad. I also have to stand in the security line on crutches. And I can't walk through the metal detector thingie with my crutch and they will not wheel me through. I am in agony trying to stand on my bad leg/knee, and I set off the detector thingie by falling against it. I'm so embarassed I start to cry and then I get yelled at by the TSA. I HATE PHILADELPHIANS. Well, generally I like lots of them, but I really despise the rude and uncaring attitude of a lot of the "service" people here. We are always so amazed when we travel to other cities and find nearly everyone to be sweet and caring, helpful and pleasant. No attitude.
By the time I get home my leg is swollen and painful, and the tree guys who showed up just before we left for the airport have completed their work. We return to find that they have let part of the pussy willow fall into the pond. Every single plant was crushed, along with my orchid which had been blooming since April. It will be weeks before the pond has grown back in - and it will not have time this year to return to the its former beauty of just three hours ago. I am so sad. Not a good day.. but at least Dad is here safe and sound.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
August 18 - Hummers!
The hummingbirds are insane this year! I have two hummingbird feeders, one in the back and one in the front. There is always one at each of the two feeders, and there are always at least two more hummers impatiently waiting for a turn. They perch on the little limbs or wires above until they can't stand it any more, then come zipping down with a great deal of squeaking and buzzing to chase the perceived glutton off. Both zoom over the house at lightening speed, and one circles back to take his/her place at the feeder. I can't run very fast these days, and if I could it wouldn't be hummer-speed, but I am guessing that the one that got chased over the house is now sitting on the wire above the other feeder, awaiting another turn. I have seen three females (or juveniles) buzzing around at one time, and I have seen two males at once, so I'm guessing there are at least two mated pairs and a pile of juveniles. I buy a five pound bag of sugar each spring for the nectar, and I never run out by the end of the season. Here it is only mid-August and I'm already nearly out. Well, all this is to say that until today I had not filled the feeders since last Thursday. When I went to count the fish this morning, I was appalled to see the hummers desperately trying to get their tongues to the bottom of the feeders where a small amount of nectar remained. So this morning, with hubby's help, they were cleaned and refilled, and peace (or havoc) once again reigns.
We took a trip to Brother's house where Sis-in-Law is recovering from a surgery 10 times more serious than mine. Maybe 20 or 30 times more. She is doing so well, and is so brave that I'm ashamed at all my whining. I will be back at work in a week or two. She will not be back for six more weeks.
We leave Brother's and head to the pet store where I buy my bird seed. I've decided to put the birds on a diet. No more cherry-berry-nutty bird mix -- smells so yummy. Just safflower, peanut and sunflower pieces, and black oil sunflower seeds. I know, I know.. it's summer and they don't need it. But I don't fill the feeders up, I ration the food daily, and that way they come around. I like to see them.
The knees ache right after I walk a bit. I took an Aleve today instead of a Vicodin, and while I can't say there is no hurt, it is nothing like it was even two days ago. I'm on the mend, for sure. The strangest part now is that I can't bend them very far. They are really, really tight, like the skin won't stretch that far. There actually is pain if I try to force them to bend beyond what they want to, so I don't. I'll wait for the PT to tell me what to do. I wouldn't mind trying the recumbent bike, but probably can't bend them enough. I might try tomorrow just to see.... the elliptical?... hmmm....
We took a trip to Brother's house where Sis-in-Law is recovering from a surgery 10 times more serious than mine. Maybe 20 or 30 times more. She is doing so well, and is so brave that I'm ashamed at all my whining. I will be back at work in a week or two. She will not be back for six more weeks.
We leave Brother's and head to the pet store where I buy my bird seed. I've decided to put the birds on a diet. No more cherry-berry-nutty bird mix -- smells so yummy. Just safflower, peanut and sunflower pieces, and black oil sunflower seeds. I know, I know.. it's summer and they don't need it. But I don't fill the feeders up, I ration the food daily, and that way they come around. I like to see them.
The knees ache right after I walk a bit. I took an Aleve today instead of a Vicodin, and while I can't say there is no hurt, it is nothing like it was even two days ago. I'm on the mend, for sure. The strangest part now is that I can't bend them very far. They are really, really tight, like the skin won't stretch that far. There actually is pain if I try to force them to bend beyond what they want to, so I don't. I'll wait for the PT to tell me what to do. I wouldn't mind trying the recumbent bike, but probably can't bend them enough. I might try tomorrow just to see.... the elliptical?... hmmm....
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
August 17 - Counting Fish
Hubby leaves for town, and I wrestle with the freezer door. The freezer has a little vacuum which I find challenging at the moment. I dig short ribs out of the freezer. Within a half hour they are braising in the oven. That means I have stood on my two feet (with occasional counter props) for one half hour. Yay! They'll be ready near 5:00, giving me a lot of time to put my feet up and ice everything down.
I must be feeling better because my mind is now turning back to my new self-improvement project: learning about wine. I created a database and am entering in each bottle I drink with general information about it, what food I paired with it, and how it all went. This will let me think more about what we are getting when we purchase next time. I'm also picking the wine based on the menu, reading a little about what wines might work with what, rather than just opening red with beef and spaghetti, and white with chicken and fish. I'm a slow learner...
So I held off on the painkillers. None all day. Dinner: Wine braised short ribs with Montebuena Rioja 2009 - google results say this is a "classic Spanish wine." This is the first time I've had a rioja, and first time I actually could honestly say "black cherries" - nose reminds me of my mom's cherry sherry dessert. YUM.
Asleep at 9:15 - no drugs, but seriously wiped out.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
August 16th - To market, to market...
No pain killers last night before bed, and none this morning upon rising. I decide today will be crutch free.. right on schedule.
Now don't get me wrong.. this is my 5th day out of surgery, and I walk like a toddler. I cruise the walls and the chair arms, and stagger through the open spaces. Hubby watches me nervously lest something gives way and I go careening into a table or counter top. But all is good, nothing gives way, and I slowly move around the house trying to get back to normal tasks. I cannot pour milk very easily for some reason, and I can't bend down and pick up the things I'm constantly dropping. I have a light canvas shoulder bag that I put stuff in when moving from one room to the other. If I want to take my phone, my netbook, a magazine, and my water bottle they go in the bag and eventually they get there with me. It takes eons to get from here to there, and by the time I'm there I am ready to be where I came from with a bags of ice planted across each knee. But within 20 minutes the ice has reduced the aching and I'm ready to do something else. So today is the day we will go shopping.
We eat breakfast and I eye the feeders suspiciously.
"Did you feed the birds?"
"no"
I make my way to the garage, lift the lid on the seed can, and discover that there is only enough seed in the can to fill one of the three feeders. I hobble out to the driveway where feeder #1 is and fill it with seed. It's WAY more difficult than I imagined. There is a slope in the garden, and the mulch is soft. I manage to get to the feeder but have a devil of a time getting myself back up the slope. When I say slope, I'm talking about a very, very, very small incline lasting about 1 1/2 feet. I grab little tree branches for support which, I realize, will do nothing to stop me from pitching forward should I lose balance. I will not attempt this again for a while.
"There is a new bag of seed next to the can. I can't lift it. Could you open it and fill the back feeders?"
"I will, when I feed the fish."
Hubby feeds the fish, then the birds. I watch from the window.
"I fed the fish, they were hungry."
I doubted it. I would tell him not to feed them, but it's the only way I can get him in "feeding" mode for the birds. I don't ask if he counted them, because I know he'll lie.
We pull the car up to the front of the store and I shimmy out of my seat onto the macadam. I've decided to take one crutch just in case I get tired, and I do get tired. We have very little shopping to do, and are in the store for probably 15 minutes, but it's all I can do to stand in line at the checkout. This is the most walking I have done in 5 days. I think about work. There are three flights of stairs, and three blocks of walking to get from my house to my office. I know now why the doctor said a minimum of two weeks, and possible three or more. I am nowhere near ready for the commute, no less the lifting and moving of boxes etc. I set a new goal.. I will be back at work in two weeks, not three or more.
A short walk up the street, and the shopping trip did me in and I find myself flat on my back again, ice bags on each knee. The bruises are turning green around the edges, but they look kind of cool with the little star bandages across each incision. After lunch I realize the aching is not responding as well to the ice. I take a pain killer and take a nap. Dinner is KFC... at least it's not frozen food and it is disgustingly delicious. By 9:00 I am ready for another pill and sleep. I lay awake, even after the meds have kicked in, my knees throbbing.. but I think it might actually be the muscles that hurt now. I take another pill and am asleep within an hour.
Now don't get me wrong.. this is my 5th day out of surgery, and I walk like a toddler. I cruise the walls and the chair arms, and stagger through the open spaces. Hubby watches me nervously lest something gives way and I go careening into a table or counter top. But all is good, nothing gives way, and I slowly move around the house trying to get back to normal tasks. I cannot pour milk very easily for some reason, and I can't bend down and pick up the things I'm constantly dropping. I have a light canvas shoulder bag that I put stuff in when moving from one room to the other. If I want to take my phone, my netbook, a magazine, and my water bottle they go in the bag and eventually they get there with me. It takes eons to get from here to there, and by the time I'm there I am ready to be where I came from with a bags of ice planted across each knee. But within 20 minutes the ice has reduced the aching and I'm ready to do something else. So today is the day we will go shopping.
We eat breakfast and I eye the feeders suspiciously.
"Did you feed the birds?"
"no"
I make my way to the garage, lift the lid on the seed can, and discover that there is only enough seed in the can to fill one of the three feeders. I hobble out to the driveway where feeder #1 is and fill it with seed. It's WAY more difficult than I imagined. There is a slope in the garden, and the mulch is soft. I manage to get to the feeder but have a devil of a time getting myself back up the slope. When I say slope, I'm talking about a very, very, very small incline lasting about 1 1/2 feet. I grab little tree branches for support which, I realize, will do nothing to stop me from pitching forward should I lose balance. I will not attempt this again for a while.
"There is a new bag of seed next to the can. I can't lift it. Could you open it and fill the back feeders?"
"I will, when I feed the fish."
Hubby feeds the fish, then the birds. I watch from the window.
"I fed the fish, they were hungry."
I doubted it. I would tell him not to feed them, but it's the only way I can get him in "feeding" mode for the birds. I don't ask if he counted them, because I know he'll lie.
We pull the car up to the front of the store and I shimmy out of my seat onto the macadam. I've decided to take one crutch just in case I get tired, and I do get tired. We have very little shopping to do, and are in the store for probably 15 minutes, but it's all I can do to stand in line at the checkout. This is the most walking I have done in 5 days. I think about work. There are three flights of stairs, and three blocks of walking to get from my house to my office. I know now why the doctor said a minimum of two weeks, and possible three or more. I am nowhere near ready for the commute, no less the lifting and moving of boxes etc. I set a new goal.. I will be back at work in two weeks, not three or more.
A short walk up the street, and the shopping trip did me in and I find myself flat on my back again, ice bags on each knee. The bruises are turning green around the edges, but they look kind of cool with the little star bandages across each incision. After lunch I realize the aching is not responding as well to the ice. I take a pain killer and take a nap. Dinner is KFC... at least it's not frozen food and it is disgustingly delicious. By 9:00 I am ready for another pill and sleep. I lay awake, even after the meds have kicked in, my knees throbbing.. but I think it might actually be the muscles that hurt now. I take another pill and am asleep within an hour.
August 15 - Look, Ma.. no hands!!!
2:30 am. My knees are throbbing again. I roll over, take a Vicodin, and go back to sleep. I awaken at 7:00ish and feel great. My ankles are still a bit swollen, and my knees are now grapefruits rather than melons, but they only ache a little bit.
Hubby walks right in front of me down the stairs. I leave one crutch behind. For the rest of the day I am operating on one crutch. My right knee feels pretty strong (except when I sit down and need to use those quads). The left knee feels weaker and kind of gives a little a couple of times, but I am able to shift weight to the other leg and catch myself.
"Did you feed the birds?"
"No."
"Would you?"
--deeply troubled and long suffering sigh accompanied with equally long suffering look and pause--
"I will in a minute"
He feeds the fish and returns with news that I'm almost out of fish food. My gawd.. I need to get it together fast.. there is probably a pound of pond sticks in the skimmer and the bottom of the pond rotting. I say nothing about it.
"Did you count them"
"Oh yes, I saw four."
More icing and walking around -- this time with only one crutch. I walk out to the end of the driveway and let the warm sun fall on my back. I walk out to the pond and try to count the fish. No go. The best angle to do so is across a small rock bridge and onto a bench along the edge. I cannot get across the bridge. Now I'm truly tired and my knees truly ache, so I go back inside, lay on the couch, and ice my knees. Hubby runs downtown to take care of some business. When he returns we embark on what has now turned into a two day Harry Potter movie marathon.
I'm not looking forward to frozen dinners and I need to do laundry. Hubby can redo a bathroom, is great with gardens, troubleshoots plumbing and electric problems, and does my dishes every single night. He has many talents and is a loving and fun partner. He's also not bad with a vacuum cleaner, and tells great jokes. Hubby does not cook... at all... no not even a fried egg. This is not a bad thing, because I love to cook, love my kitchen, and feel very territorial about it all. We have friends who cook side by side, partners in the culinary sciences. I am not so inclined, nor is Hubby. I tell him that I want him to take me grocery shopping. He starts the laundry, and tells me to let him know when I'm ready to go to the store. I never am.. not this day. I was hoping to ditch the crutches earlier in the day, but I get so tired walking that I know I can't make it through the store. I am content to lay around on the couch learning magic potions, with occasional visits to the pond.
Dinner is lasagna (frozen) which is better than Friday's frozen dinner, but still too salty. We eat in the kitchen. I walk to the kitchen without crutches this time and do the evenings laps without them too. I find I am much stronger than even this morning, and aside from occasional sharp twinges, I am relatively pain free.
Hubby walks right in front of me down the stairs. I leave one crutch behind. For the rest of the day I am operating on one crutch. My right knee feels pretty strong (except when I sit down and need to use those quads). The left knee feels weaker and kind of gives a little a couple of times, but I am able to shift weight to the other leg and catch myself.
"Did you feed the birds?"
"No."
"Would you?"
--deeply troubled and long suffering sigh accompanied with equally long suffering look and pause--
"I will in a minute"
He feeds the fish and returns with news that I'm almost out of fish food. My gawd.. I need to get it together fast.. there is probably a pound of pond sticks in the skimmer and the bottom of the pond rotting. I say nothing about it.
"Did you count them"
"Oh yes, I saw four."
More icing and walking around -- this time with only one crutch. I walk out to the end of the driveway and let the warm sun fall on my back. I walk out to the pond and try to count the fish. No go. The best angle to do so is across a small rock bridge and onto a bench along the edge. I cannot get across the bridge. Now I'm truly tired and my knees truly ache, so I go back inside, lay on the couch, and ice my knees. Hubby runs downtown to take care of some business. When he returns we embark on what has now turned into a two day Harry Potter movie marathon.
I'm not looking forward to frozen dinners and I need to do laundry. Hubby can redo a bathroom, is great with gardens, troubleshoots plumbing and electric problems, and does my dishes every single night. He has many talents and is a loving and fun partner. He's also not bad with a vacuum cleaner, and tells great jokes. Hubby does not cook... at all... no not even a fried egg. This is not a bad thing, because I love to cook, love my kitchen, and feel very territorial about it all. We have friends who cook side by side, partners in the culinary sciences. I am not so inclined, nor is Hubby. I tell him that I want him to take me grocery shopping. He starts the laundry, and tells me to let him know when I'm ready to go to the store. I never am.. not this day. I was hoping to ditch the crutches earlier in the day, but I get so tired walking that I know I can't make it through the store. I am content to lay around on the couch learning magic potions, with occasional visits to the pond.
Dinner is lasagna (frozen) which is better than Friday's frozen dinner, but still too salty. We eat in the kitchen. I walk to the kitchen without crutches this time and do the evenings laps without them too. I find I am much stronger than even this morning, and aside from occasional sharp twinges, I am relatively pain free.
August 14 - One crutch!
I awaken where I have been for two days -- flat on my back on the couch. I immediately swing my poor legs around to ready myself for the "long trek". I notice that the swelling on my ankles has gone down a bit. I can see my ankle bones. I remove the compression bandages and lay back to relish the freedom. There are deep marks in the back of my legs where they used to be, and the skin itches as it begins to move back into shape. But my mood is on the upswing. I also notice that while they ache, my knees no longer scream for pain killers. I make it to the bathroom slowly, but much more easily, still on two crutches. I have plenty of time to think on the 20 mile (feet) "walk" down the hallway, and I develop a plan for the next two days. By the end of today I will graduate to one crutch, and I will sleep in my own bed tonight. Tomorrow I will use only one crutch all day, and by Tuesday I will not use crutches and will go to the grocery store. Ambitious stuff. By the time I reach the bathroom I have revised the plan slightly to allow myself some slack if I don't make goal.
Hubby is in the kitchen drinking his tea. I make myself a cup of coffee and some oats. It is very difficult, but I manage to move around the counter-tops like a toddler beginning to cruise. I scoot my bowl of oats to the other side of the peninsula where the breakfast room table is, grab my crutches, and work my way around to the chair.
Hubby tells me he's proud of me, and then we eat breakfast in relative silence and I feel grateful for the quiet companionship.
"Have you fed the birds yet?"
"No, they have plenty of food left."
I ask for the binoculars so I can look at the feeders, and find they do have food. Enough if not plenty.
"Have you fed the fish"
"No, but I will." and then he does.
He returns with a report that both lilies are still blooming, and a new one is emerging. I ask if he counted the fish. He looks at me for a long time with a mix of amusement and amazement. "They're too fast."
By noon there is no mistaking it, the swelling is going down in my knees, and my ankles are almost normal. I've been icing them on and off for two days, and it's working. I am taking laps around the house every couple of hours to get my muscles moving again. I plant each foot carefully and slowly transfer weight to each knee. "Laps" consist of going from the dining room, into the kitchen, into the breakfast room, a u-turn down the hallway, and back to the dining room. Maybe 40 feet total. I work up to three laps at one time. I can feel how weak my left knee is and I start wondering if I will be able to ditch a crutch by bedtime.
I learned a long time ago that there is no heroism in pain. I take tylenol for headaches, I take naproxin for aches and muscle pain, and I take the vicodin as needed. It works, it helped me stay comfortable if not pain free for the first two days, it helped me get back to sleep in the middle of the night when I was awakened by throbbing, and now it helps me move and cope with the aching that comes from using my tender joints. I notice that I need less and less as time goes by.
I can see that the plan is working! Today I climbed Mt. Everest.. well, I ascended the stairs and took my first shower since Thursday night. I use a shower stool so I don't have to worry about standing (and slipping) and it works beautifully. I am clean and I feel even more optimistic. By the end of the day I am tentatively working on walking with one crutch to help support the weakest knee, and I am sleeping in my own bed.
Hubby is in the kitchen drinking his tea. I make myself a cup of coffee and some oats. It is very difficult, but I manage to move around the counter-tops like a toddler beginning to cruise. I scoot my bowl of oats to the other side of the peninsula where the breakfast room table is, grab my crutches, and work my way around to the chair.
Hubby tells me he's proud of me, and then we eat breakfast in relative silence and I feel grateful for the quiet companionship.
"Have you fed the birds yet?"
"No, they have plenty of food left."
I ask for the binoculars so I can look at the feeders, and find they do have food. Enough if not plenty.
"Have you fed the fish"
"No, but I will." and then he does.
He returns with a report that both lilies are still blooming, and a new one is emerging. I ask if he counted the fish. He looks at me for a long time with a mix of amusement and amazement. "They're too fast."
By noon there is no mistaking it, the swelling is going down in my knees, and my ankles are almost normal. I've been icing them on and off for two days, and it's working. I am taking laps around the house every couple of hours to get my muscles moving again. I plant each foot carefully and slowly transfer weight to each knee. "Laps" consist of going from the dining room, into the kitchen, into the breakfast room, a u-turn down the hallway, and back to the dining room. Maybe 40 feet total. I work up to three laps at one time. I can feel how weak my left knee is and I start wondering if I will be able to ditch a crutch by bedtime.
I learned a long time ago that there is no heroism in pain. I take tylenol for headaches, I take naproxin for aches and muscle pain, and I take the vicodin as needed. It works, it helped me stay comfortable if not pain free for the first two days, it helped me get back to sleep in the middle of the night when I was awakened by throbbing, and now it helps me move and cope with the aching that comes from using my tender joints. I notice that I need less and less as time goes by.
I can see that the plan is working! Today I climbed Mt. Everest.. well, I ascended the stairs and took my first shower since Thursday night. I use a shower stool so I don't have to worry about standing (and slipping) and it works beautifully. I am clean and I feel even more optimistic. By the end of the day I am tentatively working on walking with one crutch to help support the weakest knee, and I am sleeping in my own bed.
August 13 - Post Surgery
I awaken at 3:00 am in excruciating pain and take two vicodin, then sleep in until 7:30. Both knees are throbbing. They are still wrapped in compression bandages and are the size of cantelopes. I have no ankles, just calves that continue down to my little sausage toes. I have to pee again. This will become the bane of my existence for the next couple of days because I must sit up (which means scootching to the edge of the couch -- try it with no legs), bend my knees (which have thick bandages on them restricting their bendability), fully weight bear on throbbing knees as I stand up while simultaneously grabbing both crutches. Then I slowly, slowly, move down the hallway to our powder room. The room is tiny and my knees don't bend enough to face forward, so I lower myself with my arms and sit sideways. The whole procedure is repeated to get to my bed on the couch. The day is spent flat on my back, knees and ankles propped. They have given me ankle exercises to prevent blood clots. I do my ankle exercises as best I can given the swelling.
Hubby does not bring me breakfast. Instead he makes himself breakfast and sits in the kitchen to eat. I'm starving but too tired to insist. When he's finished he asks if I want anything. At this moment I realize that I am going to have to get my muscles in shape quickly. This is not callousness on his part, it is his take on the situation: Make her work for it. I had one of those moms.. "Don't be ridiculous, you can do it!" I take a Vicodin and wait a half hour, then get up and hobble to the kitchen table. Hubby makes me a bowl of cheerios and a cup of coffee.
I hate to bring it up, but the birds outside need to be fed (I don't consider them depending on me for their life, but I like to keep them around and they go away for a while if they aren't fed.) More importantly the pond fish need to be fed... and counted. The conversation goes like this:
"Could you feed the birds?"
"They'll survive."
"I know, but they'll go away."
He teases me. "Ohhhhh.. I can see them out there holding up signs 'feed us, feed us! We're getting weak!'
dagger stare.. look of disbelief... pause.. trying to figure out my strategy...
"Did you see that there are two waterlilies blooming?"
"No, I don't really look."
"Well could you look and see if there are more buds coming up?"
"I will when I go to feed the fish."
This is a good turn because Hubby likes the fish -- there are a dozen fish. The majority are shubunkins; fancy white, black, and orange spotted Japanese goldfish. Then there are a couple comets (also fancy goldfish), a couple fantails (one black), and a lion head (also a fancy goldfish) If he feeds the fish, he'll feed the birds. He waits about 20 minutes, then goes and feeds the fish. I watch from the couch until he comes back in.
"I fed the fish. They were hungry."
"I bet, they missed eating yesterday. Did you count them."
"WHAT? Why would I count them???"
"To make sure they are all there.."
"Where would they go?? They're fish in a backyard pond!!"
"I dunno.. raccoon, heron, skimmer.. uh.. I always count them."
"They're too fast."
He goes into the garage, which I know means he is going off to feed the birds. He feeds them twice the amount of normal, but that means no need to feed the next day. There will be a little leftover.
This is not a good day. I am in a lot of pain, and the Vicodin only barely touches it. Mostly it makes me drowsy enough to sleep through it. I have to force myself to get up and move around a few times. I want to be back on my feet as quickly as possible, but I can barely move. Daughter comes over and makes a wonderful dinner. Girls are such a blessing! (I would NOT have said that 10 years ago.) I decide I want to sleep upstairs, and I try to climb the stairs with a crutch in one hand, pulling myself up on the bannister. I make it up two steps and know I can get no farther. I hobble back to the couch and flop onto it without bending my knees. My behind, and the back of my legs feel sunburned from lying in one spot for so long. The compression bandages, which I must leave wrapped until 48 hours after surgery, are digging into my thighs. I fall asleep looking forward to removing them in the morning.
Hubby does not bring me breakfast. Instead he makes himself breakfast and sits in the kitchen to eat. I'm starving but too tired to insist. When he's finished he asks if I want anything. At this moment I realize that I am going to have to get my muscles in shape quickly. This is not callousness on his part, it is his take on the situation: Make her work for it. I had one of those moms.. "Don't be ridiculous, you can do it!" I take a Vicodin and wait a half hour, then get up and hobble to the kitchen table. Hubby makes me a bowl of cheerios and a cup of coffee.
I hate to bring it up, but the birds outside need to be fed (I don't consider them depending on me for their life, but I like to keep them around and they go away for a while if they aren't fed.) More importantly the pond fish need to be fed... and counted. The conversation goes like this:
"Could you feed the birds?"
"They'll survive."
"I know, but they'll go away."
He teases me. "Ohhhhh.. I can see them out there holding up signs 'feed us, feed us! We're getting weak!'
dagger stare.. look of disbelief... pause.. trying to figure out my strategy...
"Did you see that there are two waterlilies blooming?"
"No, I don't really look."
"Well could you look and see if there are more buds coming up?"
"I will when I go to feed the fish."
This is a good turn because Hubby likes the fish -- there are a dozen fish. The majority are shubunkins; fancy white, black, and orange spotted Japanese goldfish. Then there are a couple comets (also fancy goldfish), a couple fantails (one black), and a lion head (also a fancy goldfish) If he feeds the fish, he'll feed the birds. He waits about 20 minutes, then goes and feeds the fish. I watch from the couch until he comes back in.
"I fed the fish. They were hungry."
"I bet, they missed eating yesterday. Did you count them."
"WHAT? Why would I count them???"
"To make sure they are all there.."
"Where would they go?? They're fish in a backyard pond!!"
"I dunno.. raccoon, heron, skimmer.. uh.. I always count them."
"They're too fast."
He goes into the garage, which I know means he is going off to feed the birds. He feeds them twice the amount of normal, but that means no need to feed the next day. There will be a little leftover.
This is not a good day. I am in a lot of pain, and the Vicodin only barely touches it. Mostly it makes me drowsy enough to sleep through it. I have to force myself to get up and move around a few times. I want to be back on my feet as quickly as possible, but I can barely move. Daughter comes over and makes a wonderful dinner. Girls are such a blessing! (I would NOT have said that 10 years ago.) I decide I want to sleep upstairs, and I try to climb the stairs with a crutch in one hand, pulling myself up on the bannister. I make it up two steps and know I can get no farther. I hobble back to the couch and flop onto it without bending my knees. My behind, and the back of my legs feel sunburned from lying in one spot for so long. The compression bandages, which I must leave wrapped until 48 hours after surgery, are digging into my thighs. I fall asleep looking forward to removing them in the morning.
Monday, August 15, 2011
August 12th - Bilateral Arthroscopic Knee Surgery
When I told my friends what I was doing, eyebrows raised. "Both at the same time? You might want to rethink that." By then it was too late.. I was already committed. But let's begin at the beginning.
Last summer I developed a pinch in my right knee. The left hurt too, but the right one really pinched and seemed kinda tight. By October I knew something was really wrong, so I made an appointment with my doctor who ordered x-rays. At about 9:00 at night I got a call from her, "Your knees are a real mess. You need an MRI on the right knee, and you need to see an orthopedist." I went to the orthopedist, who will remain unnamed, armed with x-rays and an MRI on the right knee. "Osteoarthritis -- no more taking long walks", he declared, then gave me two choices. "We can give you exercises to strengthen the muscles, or we can give you a shot of cortisone in the joint." I hesitated for, I swear, less than two seconds when this incredibly important and super ultra busy orthopedist declared, "Since you are indecisive, I will make the decision for you. We will shoot you with cortisone." And so he did. It was incredibly painful and it worked... for two weeks.
By November, things were getting pretty bad again and the ski season was approaching. I just learned to downhill ski. Last year, while skiing in Vail, I had realized that if I moved down the hill in smooth linked turns, I would not do cartwheels down the mountain at 150 mph. Hubby and I were going to Breckenridge in early March, so I took the second choice on my own. In my state there is a law whereby anyone can get physical therapy without a prescription for a certain period of time. So this time, armed with my MRI, I contacted my favorite PT center and scheduled an appointment. After making me walk up and down stairs a couple of times, and then taping my knee (which, by the way, helped immediately) the therapist told me that he scarred fascia of my right knee no longer had the flexibility it used to, and had caused my patella to move off track.. The cure was something called myofascial release. By sticking her thumb into the fascia and making me move (SCREAM), my pt could break up the scar tissue. Then quad exercises would cause the fascia to heal in a more normal uniform manner. It did work. In fact, it worked through the ski season. Breckenridge in March, with her sweet seductive rollers, teased me off of the greens and onto the blues, and I felt NO pain. By April, I was hurting again. A few more weeks of PT and it seemed like maybe I was back on track. Maybe I'd gotten lazy with the exercises.... I started biking once a week to further strengthen the quads. I got an elliptical machine and worked out a little more.
In June, both knees started to pinch and ache. This time my left knee seemed more troublesome than the right. But both were periodically swelling. During a weekend visit to a friend's house in the mountains, I experienced so much pain that I couldn't walk without limping. After talking to friends in both my ski club and my canoe club, (and on the advice of Hubby), I came home and made an appointment with 3Bs orthopedics in Philly. My doctor looked at my x-rays and said "Your right patella is not tracking properly, your left knee probably needs some cleaning up". He listened to me, asked questions, did not rush me, answered my questions, and I was put on his surgery schedule. I was to have my miniscus cleaned up and the articular cartilage smoothed out on the left knee, and I was to have a lateral release of the tight tissue on the right to allow my patella to move back in track.
7:00 pm August 11 - I feed my pond fish, count them, and take in a good look at the lilies and lotus which are blossoming. It will be a few days before I can get outside to them again.
9:30 pm August 11th - my surgeon calls to say hello, asks how I am doing, and if I have any other questions. Since I was at that point hyperventilating from anxiety, this call was a wonderful and welcome touch. He was so reassuring that I hardly gave the morning to come a second thought before drifting to sleep.
5:00 am August 12 - the alarm goes off and by 6:00 we have arrived at Pennsylvania Hospital for a day surgery. After check in I am given a gown and socks. Then I am taken up to the surgical waiting area, and my hubby goes to the waiting room. At 7:00 I am hooked up to an IV (I opted for general instead of epidural). The surgeon comes through, asks how I'm doing, and draws on my knees. I wait, and wait, and wait, and despite the fact that I have had nothing to eat or drink for over 12 hours, I have to pee. I am unhooked from IV and led to the rest room.
8:30 am - I am wheeled into surgery. The next thing I know I am in recovery. I'm aware of an ache in both knees. It is now 10:30. They tell me I was in surgery for one hour.
At 11:30 they take me to a room where I will stay until I am released. My hubby joins me. We wait and wait and wait. At 1:00 the nurse comes in to tell me that I can leave as soon as I pee. I do, right away, and prepare to go home. Later a nurse friend tells me that it's good I had general rather than an epidural or I might still be at the hospital trying to pee!
2:00 pm - I am wheeled in a wheel chair to my waiting car with a pair of crutches to hobble around on at home.
3:00 pm - I am home with a full bottle of Vicodin. I take two and fall asleep. I am in and out of sleep on the living room couch all afternoon and evening. My daughter shows up with a bouquet of beautiful flowers. Another bouquet arrives from friends by courier to my door. I get a phone call from a friend, and an email from another. I fall back to sleep for the night, except for a couple of LONG and agonizing treks to the restroom -- just 20 feet down the hall. It takes so long that by the time I arrive, my need has become a "true emergency". I giggle to myself, thinking of the doctor's voice prompts.. "If this is a true emergency, hang up and dial 911..."
Last summer I developed a pinch in my right knee. The left hurt too, but the right one really pinched and seemed kinda tight. By October I knew something was really wrong, so I made an appointment with my doctor who ordered x-rays. At about 9:00 at night I got a call from her, "Your knees are a real mess. You need an MRI on the right knee, and you need to see an orthopedist." I went to the orthopedist, who will remain unnamed, armed with x-rays and an MRI on the right knee. "Osteoarthritis -- no more taking long walks", he declared, then gave me two choices. "We can give you exercises to strengthen the muscles, or we can give you a shot of cortisone in the joint." I hesitated for, I swear, less than two seconds when this incredibly important and super ultra busy orthopedist declared, "Since you are indecisive, I will make the decision for you. We will shoot you with cortisone." And so he did. It was incredibly painful and it worked... for two weeks.
By November, things were getting pretty bad again and the ski season was approaching. I just learned to downhill ski. Last year, while skiing in Vail, I had realized that if I moved down the hill in smooth linked turns, I would not do cartwheels down the mountain at 150 mph. Hubby and I were going to Breckenridge in early March, so I took the second choice on my own. In my state there is a law whereby anyone can get physical therapy without a prescription for a certain period of time. So this time, armed with my MRI, I contacted my favorite PT center and scheduled an appointment. After making me walk up and down stairs a couple of times, and then taping my knee (which, by the way, helped immediately) the therapist told me that he scarred fascia of my right knee no longer had the flexibility it used to, and had caused my patella to move off track.. The cure was something called myofascial release. By sticking her thumb into the fascia and making me move (SCREAM), my pt could break up the scar tissue. Then quad exercises would cause the fascia to heal in a more normal uniform manner. It did work. In fact, it worked through the ski season. Breckenridge in March, with her sweet seductive rollers, teased me off of the greens and onto the blues, and I felt NO pain. By April, I was hurting again. A few more weeks of PT and it seemed like maybe I was back on track. Maybe I'd gotten lazy with the exercises.... I started biking once a week to further strengthen the quads. I got an elliptical machine and worked out a little more.
In June, both knees started to pinch and ache. This time my left knee seemed more troublesome than the right. But both were periodically swelling. During a weekend visit to a friend's house in the mountains, I experienced so much pain that I couldn't walk without limping. After talking to friends in both my ski club and my canoe club, (and on the advice of Hubby), I came home and made an appointment with 3Bs orthopedics in Philly. My doctor looked at my x-rays and said "Your right patella is not tracking properly, your left knee probably needs some cleaning up". He listened to me, asked questions, did not rush me, answered my questions, and I was put on his surgery schedule. I was to have my miniscus cleaned up and the articular cartilage smoothed out on the left knee, and I was to have a lateral release of the tight tissue on the right to allow my patella to move back in track.
7:00 pm August 11 - I feed my pond fish, count them, and take in a good look at the lilies and lotus which are blossoming. It will be a few days before I can get outside to them again.
9:30 pm August 11th - my surgeon calls to say hello, asks how I am doing, and if I have any other questions. Since I was at that point hyperventilating from anxiety, this call was a wonderful and welcome touch. He was so reassuring that I hardly gave the morning to come a second thought before drifting to sleep.
5:00 am August 12 - the alarm goes off and by 6:00 we have arrived at Pennsylvania Hospital for a day surgery. After check in I am given a gown and socks. Then I am taken up to the surgical waiting area, and my hubby goes to the waiting room. At 7:00 I am hooked up to an IV (I opted for general instead of epidural). The surgeon comes through, asks how I'm doing, and draws on my knees. I wait, and wait, and wait, and despite the fact that I have had nothing to eat or drink for over 12 hours, I have to pee. I am unhooked from IV and led to the rest room.
8:30 am - I am wheeled into surgery. The next thing I know I am in recovery. I'm aware of an ache in both knees. It is now 10:30. They tell me I was in surgery for one hour.
At 11:30 they take me to a room where I will stay until I am released. My hubby joins me. We wait and wait and wait. At 1:00 the nurse comes in to tell me that I can leave as soon as I pee. I do, right away, and prepare to go home. Later a nurse friend tells me that it's good I had general rather than an epidural or I might still be at the hospital trying to pee!
2:00 pm - I am wheeled in a wheel chair to my waiting car with a pair of crutches to hobble around on at home.
3:00 pm - I am home with a full bottle of Vicodin. I take two and fall asleep. I am in and out of sleep on the living room couch all afternoon and evening. My daughter shows up with a bouquet of beautiful flowers. Another bouquet arrives from friends by courier to my door. I get a phone call from a friend, and an email from another. I fall back to sleep for the night, except for a couple of LONG and agonizing treks to the restroom -- just 20 feet down the hall. It takes so long that by the time I arrive, my need has become a "true emergency". I giggle to myself, thinking of the doctor's voice prompts.. "If this is a true emergency, hang up and dial 911..."
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